THANKS FOR BEING HERE
A quiet welcome and thank you to our few new subscribers, and endless appreciation to those of you that have been here for some time now. I hope you all had a relaxing holiday weekend and find yourself easing into the end of the year. If you’re new around here, feel free to drop me a line and introduce yourself or share what you’ve been working on. It’s on all of us to make the internet a warm and friendly space.
Let’s get into it. I share the following words in hopes that there are some fellow Enneagram 4s (or just hard feelers) out there struggling to get a grip. I am not always so blatantly vulnerable on the internet — but I do try to maintain the proper space and time for it.
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been making a list of daily reminders. Whenever something comes up – a change, a bother, a revelation – I synthesize it into bite-size encouragement and type it in a note. This was spurred on in part by what I wrote two weeks ago: “Think in terms of beauty. Re-frame your circumstance as poetically as possible.”
It’s been unexpectedly helpful to have a list to return to in moments of unsureness or anxiety. I am teaching myself how to be who I want to be. Nothing profound, just simple guiding words.
These are the 3 that have resonated the most:
Not everything has to be emotionally charged. Practice grounded action.
Never rely too heavily on any one thing. Expectations are not reality.
Let go. Life is not a battle.
The reason I’ve leaned so hard into this new list is my constant need for re-framing. I am quick to find myself ‘in my feelings’. To be honest with you, for as long as I can remember, I have felt dominated by emotions. And while this is a part of what makes me myself, I’m determined to see to this one main change: I no longer want to serve my feelings; my feelings should serve me.
P.S. The daily reminder my therapist liked the most reads, “CTFO”… 🙃
Frames from lower Appalachia 🥾
Many of the trees had completely shed their leaves entirely, and much of the hike was brown. The most vibrant color that day was hiding in my socks, my heels blistered by my bougie boots. Rookie mistake.
True miscellanea
💆 Silence your inner critic: a guide to self-compassion in the toughest times
“Negative self-talk can also be reframed as a well-meaning coach or protector, or simply an indicator of mental state. Bell has come to see his critical voice as a ‘red flag’ that he is feeling vulnerable and in need of some care. ‘The function of it has changed … You can then use it to your benefit.’“
📚 What I’m reading: Atomic Habits by James Clear
🎄 My Christmas playlist I’ll be adding to over the course of the month
🌿 New Orleans friends — My partner Mary (Merry Floral) and our friend Tippi (Waysides) are hosting a wreath workshop tomorrow evening, Dec. 3 at Hotel Saint Vincent followed by a dance party with DJ Heatwave at the hotel’s beautiful Chapel Club bar. Don’t miss it!
“To the most trivial actions, attach the devotion and mindfulness of a hundred monks. To matters of life and death, attach a sense of humor.”
ZHUANGZI